Question: What are the problematic behaviours you want to stop/manage better?
Below is a list of the most common problematic/destructive behaviours people want to stop/manage. Read through the list and acknowledge to yourself any that resonate.
Choose 3 behaviours that you want to stop/manage and write down ALL the reasons why they are problematic for you. Note: 3 is the maximum, if you only have 1 or 2 you want to work on for now that's fine.
The behaviours can come from the list below or they may be behaviours not listed here.
- Unhealthy eating; unhealthy choices, over eating, under eating, yo-yo dieting etc.
- Over consumption of alcohol
- Smoking/vaping, recreational drug use
- Financial recklessness (over spending, gambling etc)
- Numbing and escaping behaviour in general
- Inactivity/Passivity
- Busyness/hyperactivity
- Rumination – on the past
- Worry/anxiety – about the future, relationships, body image, health, money etc.
- Perfectionism, fixation, obsessiveness
- Comparison, criticism & complaining
- Procrastination & avoidance
- Over consumption social media, gaming & screen time in general
- Emotional reactivity; outbursts of hostility/aggression
- Over working/ignoring internal messages of fatigue
- Poor sleep and rest prioritisation
- Something not listed here
Question: What are the 3 Essential Self Care Behaviours (ESCB’s) you want to habituate?
Below is a statement formula to help you identify the new, Essential Self Care Behaviours that will gradually disempower the 3 problematic behaviours on your list.
When < cause/condition > happens and I have the urge to problematic behaviour I will take a deep inhalation and say to myself "I notice an urge to < problematic behaviour >" and as I exhale I will say, "I choose to let this urge pass and instead I will < ESCB >".
You need to clearly identify the cause/condition that triggers the problematic behaviour - this is a vital step. Now, write down exactly what the new behaviour/action will be.
The more specific you are with the new behaviour the better. You may need to do a few re-writes/edits to get the statement clear and actionable.
Please use this formula for all 3 problematic behaviours on your list. If you have difficulty with this you are welcome to email me your 3 statements and I’ll help you tighten them up so they are clear and actionable.
Here's an example that I have used (& still do!)
Note that the trigger is detailed and the ESCB is clear and actionable.
When ‘I finish dinner and am feeling satisfied but also tired and a bit emotionally empty’ I often have the urge to ‘eat more’ and when I do I will take a deep inhalation and say to myself ‘I notice an urge to eat more, even though I have just had a satisfying meal' and as I exhale I will say ‘ I choose to let this urge pass and instead I will make a licorice tea whilst I clean the kitchen then I will turn off the kitchen light before I go and watch TV.’
That's it for now. Once you submit this form you will receive a record of your Commitment Pledge.
I'll be back in touch as the start date draws closer and I look forward to receiving your pledge & statement email in due course.
You may also like to have an Accountability Partner outside the program - if yes, just inform them about your participation in Habituate, email them your 3 ESCB's and keep them up to date with your progress..
If you have any queries...I'm here.
💛 Jo
